Saturday, 13 August 2011

The Perfect Gentleman - As Promised.

“The perfect man is the man that every girl desires to have. He’s every girls dream, every girl’s fantasy.” Unfortunately, the perfect gentleman is difficult to find. How do you know the man is perfect anyway? Let’s first define what exactly a gentleman is. A gentleman is defined as a well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior. He’s also cultured, courteous and well-educated. In another sense, being a gentleman means treating others, especially women, in a respectful manner and not taking advantage or pushing others into doing things they choose not to do. What about being perfect? In a very practical term, perfection is an ideal situation where everything is in just the way it should be. In other words, there should be no flaws, no irregularities. Apart from that, a state of perfection is nowhere close to be achieved. Yet, we, humans, still do strive for perfection. No man is perfect, yes but some come close to perfection. The ideal man isn’t perfect, but he comes close to being perfect. Many men today don’t know what it takes to be a gentleman. Alluring looks and wealth are not enough to impress a woman. Men should bear in mind that women are exposed to romantic books and movies and thus, they are inclined to look for their Prince Charming in their man. We live in an age in which women have earned complete independence. So do they need men at all? According to Dr Nick Neave, an evolutionary psychologist from Northumbria University, not only do they need men, they are fundamentally programmed to depend on them.

It’s not a piece of cake to be a gentleman, I am not saying men should be like robots and obey the etiquettes, but some basic good manners should be already be within themselves in order to aid themselves to be the perfect one in women’s eyes. As the English saying goes, if there’s a will, there’s a way. What irks me the most is that there are very few true gentlemen remaining among us and the ladies are always anticipating and are very pleased to meet a real gentleman. Different people have different perspective on looking at things. Similarly, every woman has their very own definition of their perfect man. Some may want for protection and care, some may want just to accomplish their culture and traditions; marriage and family. Now, the question is, what does it take to be a perfect gentleman? First and foremost, the utmost important factor is to be you yourself. A man doesn’t have to act to impress a woman; he just has to be himself, with basic good manners of course. He has to demonstrate a high level of self-confidence and self-esteem to boost his personality to be a better man. For instance, if you committed a mistake, don’t be shy to admit your mistakes and learn from them. I am certain that no one’s likes to be blamed but sometimes when things do not work out, it’s nice if you can take the responsibility, learn from it and get over it instead of being defensive. Admitting mistakes is not a sign of you being the weak one. It shows that you care for the people around you and their reputation, in case if they got hurt by your mistake. Women love men who aren’t fake and boast about themselves, they love their men to be simple and sweet.

Additionally, a man should always stand up for what he believes and at the same time, he has to consider other’s personal view as well. Distractions are always there whenever you are up to something and these distractions can occur in various forms. A perfect gentleman knows how to overcome this sort of situation and handle this obstacle professionally. Never let others put you down no matter how hurting the opinion can be. If you have the confidence in yourself, then nothing can stop you from doing anything. A famous quote by Arthur Ashe states that - “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” Thus, this shows that self-confidence is the master key in moulding a man’s personality. Next, one should also possess a strong sense of humor because you can never dislike someone who makes you laugh. Humor indicates that you’re witty and intelligent, for example, you know when to be serious and when to get goofy.

Now, let’s judge a perfect gentleman at a different point of view. For instance, let’s say you finally asked a beautiful woman out for a date? Do you know how to treat her right? I am sure you will want to impress her and make her feel special, hence, there are few etiquette you need to obey. Firstly, remember to always treat her like a princess. This includes from opening the door for her, pulling out a chair when she sits down, compliment her and tell her how beautiful she looks. Do whatever it takes to make her feel cherished and treasured, make sure she feels that she’s treated like gold. Next, always pay attention to the every little thing she says. Give her undivided attention because this shows that you actually care. If she complains about her problems, don’t cut her off. Instead, listen to what she has to say, she wants your listening ear, not your bickering mouth. A woman loves receiving compliments, you should compliment on something which you truly believe and choose your words wisely. Saying ‘sexy’ can be offensive at times. Compliments are not necessary to be given to physical beauty only.

Personal hygiene is also important in being a perfect gentleman. Bear in mind that women adores men with tiptop self-cleanliness. Make sure to be presentable all the time, no matter where you are. Avoid picking your nose or biting your nails in front of your lady. That’s a major failure, if you do so. Make sure your hair is neat and your clothes are ironed. Besides that, trim your nails and brush your teeth. You don’t want to have bad breath on your date, don’t you? When conversing, avoid swearing and use of offensive words. Another thing you should not do is spitting. A lot of men tend to spit subconsciously. Spitting is not too nice to look at. Always remember to be polite because this shows that you are the better man. Furthermore, when approaching women, use your smile and class to win their hearts, not some cheesy pick-up lines or gifts. One more major mistake men tend to do is to smoke in the presence of a lady. This lessens your chance of being the perfect one; you can be a social smoker where you smoke occasionally.

Lastly, some basic good manners should be instilled from the beginning itself to make sure the man is ideal to be called as the perfect gentleman. A man should not be flaunting about his riches. Truthfully, nobody likes a braggart. You can wear expensive and branded things without blowing your trumpet, of course. Ladies are often concerned of the time, so make sure you’re always punctual, no matter for a date or a meeting. Apart from that, another important criterion is to always shake hands firmly. Your handshake mirrors your personality. Use ‘excuse me’ or ‘I beg your pardon’ for all occasions. Don’t forget to project high moral values, even if you’re sad deep down; appear as if you’re virtuous. A real gentleman always comes out of every possible obstacle and shines out. One of the cruelest things you can do is to laugh at others mistake. Make sure that you do not practice this habit. This can really bring up a messed up situation.

On the whole, a perfect gentleman’s lifestyle is uncluttered and not complicated, simple but yet stylish. Here, I would like to emphasis that if every man truly instills this etiquettes, they would probably sweep every ladies feet away. So ladies, my advice to you are that make sure you capture the right man, who’s an ideal one and make sure he treats you right. Every women desire for attention and love, a perfect gentleman is able to present you that, with no doubts. Don't be fooled by the outward appearance of a person. Look underneath. Ask "Does this person always act in the fundamentally decent ways expected of a true gentleman?" A perfect gentleman is a rarity, so remember ladies, anyone can be polite to a King but only a true gentleman can be polite to a beggar!

My personal definition of a perfect gentleman? 
Hero :)

1 comment: